Working the Steps: Step 5

It is suggested that this step be done shortly after completing Step Four, while the facts revealed in Step Four are still fresh in one’s mind. In Step Four one can dig inside oneself, as most compulsive gamblers accumulated loads of guilt. In Step Five one can dispose of this guilt and cope with every day problems. One can always look back, and must in making amends, but no longer do you have to live with your personal guilt bag.

Selecting someone to help you with the fifth step is the next chore. The person should fill two needs; one, they should have the experience and wisdom to help see the situation more clearly, and be a person who will keep the conversation completely confidential. Perhaps your sponsor will be the logical choice, your clergyman or a good friend — you must make the choice. Reread the fourth step and use your notes as an agenda. Honesty, openmindedness and sincerity will make the whole thing go more smoothly. Your ego, which won’t like the idea of displaying former misdeeds to another human being, will quickly accept the healthy atmosphere. You will see yourself more clearly after Step Four and this insight will remain. Self-knowledge has no bounds. Your new found serenity will enable you to calmly listen and learn. Your awareness will really accelerate. Your relief at having disposed of this guilt will be tremendous.

Humility is a very elusive trait which seems to fly away from one who seems to feel they possess it. If this be so, you must seek to become a well-adjusted person and in so doing, gain humility which one does not realize one has. Do not take this step lightly or minimize its importance. Those who have done this step feel that guilt must be disposed of, and action through this step is the proper way to do it.

Guilt disposed of as suggested, will aid you in so many ways. Self-honesty is accelerated as you clearly see your guilt. No longer will you feel unique. Rather, you will join the human race knowing that you are not alone. What the program teaches comes true. You will realize no two gamblers are alike yet none is an original. Upon entering the program, one now feels a sense of being understood. No longer will you be alone, and knowledge of this is exhilarating. As conflicts arise, however, one tends to pull away from this beautiful union. Now, the fifth step helps resolve these conflicts and you can say to all the world: “I am a human being.”

Step Five is ego deflating and necessary.

1. We must talk about our defects to remove our guilt.
2. We must see what we were, to see what we can become.

DISCUSS:

• Habit of lying and hiding from problems. What was the outcome?
• Is identifying our defects (problems) 90% of the solution?
• Evidence of our immaturity — past and present.

Many feel it is not necessary to share humiliating experiences.

1. We are prone to carry burdens alone.
2. Dramatic descriptions of our gambling behavior are only offered.

DISCUSS:

• Has honesty with self and others improved since coming to GA? Explain.
• Has our therapy changed direction? Tone?
• How long can we carry resentments and angers? What happens?

Humility is born in Step Five. Ottr burden is lightened by admitting our defects to another human being.

1. We become forgiving by seeking forgiveness.
2. Many members feel closer to their Higher Power and man after working Step Five.

DISCUSS:

• How peace of mind is achieved by removing guilt and/or ending a lie.
• Describe the feeling of admitting to other GA members, at our first meeting, that we have a gambling problem.
• To whom should we seek to make our admissions? Sponsor? Friend? Spouse? Others?

“Big Shotism” often hides our true motives or painful experiences.

DISCUSS:

• What types of persons do we tend to respect?
• What types of persons do we tend to avoid?
• Who do we trust?
• Disasters caused by wanting too much or living beyond our means.